I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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