Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize