he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Randomize
