Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
we're making bets on your personal life
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I have tasted many bathrooms
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
