omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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