Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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