So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
