We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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