i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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