the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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