yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize
