He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
