I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
