Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
