so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Welp...herpes.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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