Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
