I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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