this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
