so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
