Ambien. No doubt about it.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
