marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
