I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
