I seem to have left my pride at pride
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
