ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
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