I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
