is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
