Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
