I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
