Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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