I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
