He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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