Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
