you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
