how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
