just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
