Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
As shirtless as possible
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
