Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Randomize
