id be glad to
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
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