Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
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