Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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