We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
