this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
My vagina just recognized that song.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
