my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
