I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
