He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
