"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He keeps bees of course he's weird
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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