Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I just found puke in my bra..
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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