So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
