We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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