i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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