Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
