you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
