pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
