he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
