Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You were trust falling into bushes
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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