I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
