Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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