my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
