pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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