she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
