I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
