every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
and you fell through a lawn chair
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