All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Randomize
