I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
