the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
