you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
