Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
