Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I would fuck him just for his dog
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize