What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
