I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
